snack cakes

You'd think that throwing down the gauntlet on Monday by posting the number of pounds I need to lose, and then resolving to post that number once a week, would kick my food monitoring efforts into high gear. Not so. This morning I had Little Debbies for breakfast. Definitely not the breakfast of champions. Those things aren't even real food. They're a childhood comfort food (food-like substance) for me. My babysitter provided them as afternoon treats in the summertime, and I loved those things. By now, however, I realize that they really don't taste that fantastic, and they are not even close to the yumminess of real cake. And yet I see them and want them. And eat them.

I spent yet another morning wandering through blogland, reading inspirational stories of other people's weight loss. And something dawned on me. I want to lose weight without it being hard. I don't want to dramatically change my habits. A tweak here, a tweak there, and presto! I have an inner tantrum every time I think about restricting my food or eliminating certain favorite sugary snacks. I don't wanna, and I shouldn't have to. Whine whine whine. But I guess the deal is that if I want to be lighter, if I want a sleeker profile, if I want to eliminate weight as a fallback excuse, I need to make some sacrifices. But those sacrifices are up to me. No one is making me stop eating snack cakes. I can certainly have as many as I want. But there are consequences to eating snack cakes. And if I want the cakes, I need to embrace the consequences as well.

Once again it seems I don't want to be a grown up making grown up decisions. When does that growing up happen? Shouldn't some of it have happened by now? I'm a 34 year old woman with a job, a husband, a house, bills, an old cat, lots of grown up type responsibilities. But if you look more closely, I appear to be an adolescent testing the boundaries of having the freedom to do whatever she chooses.